Orphan Summit

We spent Thanksgiving at the Orphan Summit in Bucharest,  Romania. It was put on by ARFO, Alliance of a Romania Without Orphans. I was a little leary of being away from home for Thanksgiving but we knew we wanted to be more involved in the important work of orphan care in Romania so we signed up to go. We are so thankful that we went, it was worth missing Thanksgiving at home. We came away with so much good information.

I am going to change to I and write from my perspective. David and Jayne Schooler were there from Back2back ministries and many other wonderful speakers including two young men who grew up in the Romanian Child Protective Services. I have been reading and educating myself alot on kids/people with trauma in recent months but hearing all of this information from experts just affirmed that I want to help these kids. I will start by saying, God is working on my to not beat myself up for my failures and lack of knowledge with Joey and Gina. I am seeking God to help me be emotionally healthy and move forward so that I can help kids who come from really hard places and sometimes display really ugly and scary behaviors. One thing I was trying so hard to do with Gina was change her behavior and that was an impossible task because her behavior was a cry for help. She did not need me to punish or judge or get upset with her, she needed me to assure her that she was safe with me, she could trust me, she could heal and learn a better way of expressing her anger but instead I became emotionally drained and would get upset. Our behavior comes from what we believe and instead of trying to change someone's behavior we need to change their belief system. The problem is kids from traumatic backgrounds believe lies; they have been treated as if they are worthless, not important, unseen, unheard. The neglect of being abandoned by the person who should have most cherished and protected you has a great impact on a child. I think many times as Christians we counsel people to just press forward and forget what is behind you and that is wrong counsel. Our past is part of who we are and part of our story that we must deal with before we can move forward. Belief systems start in utero, an unborn child knows if he is unwanted. As Dr. Schooler said, "our biography influences our biology."  So many times, I would forget about Gina's past and just be so angry at how she was disrupting my life. I want to post a video that I hope you will take the time to watch...it is 33 minutes but well worth watching if you want to understand the hurt of an angry child. It is called Removed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvqRI1Wjn14

I want to encourage Christ followers to follow the Father's heart for orphans and adopt. If you don't adopt, then provide respite care for foster/adoptive parents, be a big sister or brother for a child in foster care, invest time in listening, really listening to an adopted or foster child.  You do not have to be a professional to listen to someone's story and show you care but listening with intent to understand them. Don't listen with the intent of thinking about an answer to give them, just listen. When you listen to someone tell their story the brain starts to heal. Dr. Schooler said this was a scientific fact. Learn the power of listening, to see someone, to hear someone. Even if you don't have answers just listening starts the healing process.

I look forward to seeing the twins next weekend. I look forward to them coming home, very soon. I believe we are in a better place to help them. I believe God wants them back in our home.