tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45329562527128243202024-02-19T00:31:16.161-08:00Howerton FamilyJoyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.comBlogger302125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-57230409267565303132018-03-26T06:56:00.001-07:002018-03-26T06:56:45.490-07:00Thoughts from a slow runner.I admit, yesterday I was quite disappointed. I had set my expectations way too high for only my second half marathon and they quickly came crashing down. I remember the euphoria of my first half in N. Myrtle Beach last year. Thousands of runners, family and friends present. My only goal was to finish (in my head I thought I hope I finish in under 3 hours). I finished in 2 hours and 45 minutes and was just thrilled!<br />
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I have been running a little over a year now. I wanted to set a high goal of knocking 15 minutes off my first half. I needed to run 8.4 km/h to accomplish this. I ran my last long run, 18km at 8.2 km/h. I really thought I would be close or at least knock a good 10 minutes off my first half.<br />
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I went to the race by myself. It was in Timisoara. It was a good atmosphere. 407 runners I believe, what I didn't realize was that out of 407 runners at least half of them were only signed up for the 10.9k race. The course was 10.9 km, as I was crossing the line to make my second round, I realized there was no one else. I was running down big closed roads all by myself. If I only ran for the euphoria that I felt on my first race, then I would definitely not be running another half. I felt so alone and I got slower and slower and there was nothing I could do about it. The great thing about running though is, it is not always about the euphoric feeling. It is about endurance. It is about learning. It is about making yourself finish something you started. The Christian life can feel very lonely sometimes. You aren't always surrounded by good friends and having a good time. There are really lonely times. Times where it is just you and God. You find out, when you truly have a relationship with God, that He really is enough. As difficult and as disappointing as yesterday was, I will keep running. I will do it again, until my body says no more. I came in next to last and my time was longer than my first half. Running is a huge mental and physical challenge. I let the mental challenge get the best of me. I did finish though. As I was finishing the first round I thought, why oh why didn't I just sign up for the 10.9k, then I'd be finishing with everyone else. It was the saddest and loneliest feeling running on all these closed and empty streets. Lesson learned, in a half marathon with just a couple hundred people, I'm going to be in the back of the pack.<br />
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I keep reminding myself, it was only the second time in my life I've every run that distance. Actually, it was my longest distance yet, 13.58 miles to be exact. I keep trying to remind myself, I started running a year ago at the age of 43 after having hated running my whole life. The thing I enjoy most about running is the lessons learned through running. I have learned, I really can go just one more km, one more step, one more time around. I can be alone and lonely and make it through. Life is like a long race; pace yourself so you can finish, fuel your mind and body with what they need. Food gives life or sucks it from you. Think of food as fuel for your body: eating to live, not living to eat. (I do not have this fueling my body part down 100% yet, but I'm working on it.) What you think and meditate on gives you mental vitality or sucks if from you. Think on true things, trust God even when you don't understand, know that He loves you even when you don't feel like it's true.<br />
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-81809477853518935932018-01-13T07:31:00.000-08:002018-01-13T07:31:22.529-08:00Advice for those who want to adoptSomeone else I know recently watched the movie, "Lion" and they were deeply moved by it. If you have never adopted and don't know anyone personally who has adopted, I highly recommend you watch that movie to get an idea of the highs and lows of adoption. It is such a realistic view into the life of a family who adopted.<br />
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I have been thinking and reflecting lately on what I wish I had known before we adopted. I wish someone had given us some advice before we jumped in without any knowledge or training of what could happen to our family dynamics because of adoption. So, I decided to give my two cents worth and hopefully someone who is thinking about adoption will be helped by this advice.<br />
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The first thing I would advise is to find four other families who are wanting to adopt and form a support group together. I suggest five families go together and buy the Empowered to Connect DVDs, all of them. They are expensive but if five families go together it is affordable. Watch them together if possible. Teach the children already in your home about kids that come from hard places. I think five families is a good number. Small enough to allow everyone to be involved in discussion, yet large enough to support one another and have someone to call when you need help.<br />
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The second thing I would suggest is, to educate yourself. Two books I recommend are, <i>Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" </i>and "<i>The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family." </i> The first book gives you a view of the effects of trauma on the body and mind and how trauma alters children's behavioral responses. The second also shows you how and why trauma affects the behavior of children plus gives advice on how to parent differently. It really takes a completely different type of parenting when you have children from hard places in your home.<br />
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The third thing I would suggest, is signing up for training in either Empowered to Connect or Trauma Competent caregiver training. I do not want to sound pessimistic and negative, but chances are if you adopt, you are going to face some challenges. Even if you adopt from day one of a child's life, you never know what kind of trauma went on in the womb. A child can sense if they are wanted or not in the womb and they are affected by this. If you have a rosie and rainbow adoption, great! It is best to prepare for the worst and then if the worst never comes, praise God and use your training to help someone else. It is really difficult when you are in the midst of a child going through major behavioral problems to then seek out getting training and educating yourself. It is best to go through training and educate yourself when your mind is clear and you have time to soak it in and think about it.<br />
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Adoption is a beautiful thing and it is a difficult thing. Difficult for the adopted children and for the adoptive family. Do not let this deter you from adopting. If God is leading you in this direction, he will give you the strength and thankfully there is help available. Every child deserves to have a family. Step out of your comfort zone and pray about fostering and/or adopting.<br />
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"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27<br />
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"Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed." Psalm 82:<br />
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"He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing." Deuteronomy 10:18<br />
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"...you have been a helper to the fatherless." Psalm 10:14b<br />
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God promises care and protection for those who cannot protect themselves. He is a God of justice. Children not knowing the love of a family is a great injustice and there are millions of children living in this reality. God asks us to do something about it, he asks us to do our part in working towards justice. God shows us through his word as believers that we should pursue meeting the needs of children living as orphans. Start by praying and asking God to show you what you can do to help defend the fatherless.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-83025111531723873242017-11-25T11:54:00.002-08:002017-11-25T11:54:48.228-08:00Orphan SummitWe spent Thanksgiving at the Orphan Summit in Bucharest, Romania. It was put on by ARFO, Alliance of a Romania Without Orphans. I was a little leary of being away from home for Thanksgiving but we knew we wanted to be more involved in the important work of orphan care in Romania so we signed up to go. We are so thankful that we went, it was worth missing Thanksgiving at home. We came away with so much good information.<br />
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I am going to change to I and write from my perspective. David and Jayne Schooler were there from Back2back ministries and many other wonderful speakers including two young men who grew up in the Romanian Child Protective Services. I have been reading and educating myself alot on kids/people with trauma in recent months but hearing all of this information from experts just affirmed that I want to help these kids. I will start by saying, God is working on my to not beat myself up for my failures and lack of knowledge with Joey and Gina. I am seeking God to help me be emotionally healthy and move forward so that I can help kids who come from really hard places and sometimes display really ugly and scary behaviors. One thing I was trying so hard to do with Gina was change her behavior and that was an impossible task because her behavior was a cry for help. She did not need me to punish or judge or get upset with her, she needed me to assure her that she was safe with me, she could trust me, she could heal and learn a better way of expressing her anger but instead I became emotionally drained and would get upset. Our behavior comes from what we believe and instead of trying to change someone's behavior we need to change their belief system. The problem is kids from traumatic backgrounds believe lies; they have been treated as if they are worthless, not important, unseen, unheard. The neglect of being abandoned by the person who should have most cherished and protected you has a great impact on a child. I think many times as Christians we counsel people to just press forward and forget what is behind you and that is wrong counsel. Our past is part of who we are and part of our story that we must deal with before we can move forward. Belief systems start in utero, an unborn child knows if he is unwanted. As Dr. Schooler said, "our biography influences our biology." So many times, I would forget about Gina's past and just be so angry at how she was disrupting my life. I want to post a video that I hope you will take the time to watch...it is 33 minutes but well worth watching if you want to understand the hurt of an angry child. It is called Removed: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvqRI1Wjn14">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvqRI1Wjn14</a><br />
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I want to encourage Christ followers to follow the Father's heart for orphans and adopt. If you don't adopt, then provide respite care for foster/adoptive parents, be a big sister or brother for a child in foster care, invest time in listening, really listening to an adopted or foster child. You do not have to be a professional to listen to someone's story and show you care but listening with intent to understand them. Don't listen with the intent of thinking about an answer to give them, just listen. When you listen to someone tell their story the brain starts to heal. Dr. Schooler said this was a scientific fact. Learn the power of listening, to see someone, to hear someone. Even if you don't have answers just listening starts the healing process.<br />
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I look forward to seeing the twins next weekend. I look forward to them coming home, very soon. I believe we are in a better place to help them. I believe God wants them back in our home.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-90944383864195049512017-10-14T04:46:00.001-07:002017-10-14T04:46:51.062-07:00Life is Hard, but God is good. The choice to send your troubled children away to get help is not an easy choice. Baron got to the place where he knew we needed to get them help outside of our home before I did. The choice for a mother to know she can not raise her child/children and someone else needs to intervene is a difficult place to be. I know we made the right choice, but not a day goes by that I don't hate the choice we made. Walking on God's path does not always mean "liking" all the plans God has for you, but I have learned to accept his plan. I have to daily look to God and the truth and let go of feeling guilty, feeling like a bad mother, feeling like I should have been able to handle it. I often wondered what it meant to have peace in the middle of a storm and now I know. It isn't this wonderful joyful feeling, but it is a feeling of hope in the midst of what looks hopeless. It is being able to sleep at night instead of thinking that your house feels emptier than it should. It is going on and living life, waking up each day thanking God for providing intervention for your children. It will never "feel right" that my 13 year old twins are not living at home right now. As I experience this pain of missing them, I wonder how God will use this pain for his glory.<br />
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We will be going to a conference over Thanksgiving put on by the Alliance of a Romania without orphans. The pre conference class is on how to start a support group for adoptive families. I hope that we can start a support group here and encourage, listen to, and empathize with other adoptive parents. I have also recently received training in the first four instruments of Feuerstein therapy. Here is a link to learn about the benefits of this therapy: <a href="http://www.aish.com/jw/id/48914587.html">Feuerstein</a> and <a href="http://www.icelp.info/about/testimonials.aspx">Testimonials</a>. Joey, our adopted son, went through the first instrument of Feuerstein last year. He was failing math in school last year, this year he tested out of the math class he was in and has been moved to a more advanced math class. I believe this therapy helped him learn how to think and has impacted his grades this year. I am starting to practice on some kids here and hope to start with kids from private children's homes in January. I believe God will use our pain to empathize better with others going through this same pain.<br />
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A song that has been very encouraging to me as I feel tempted to wallow in my sorrow is called: "Sovereign Over Us"<br />
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<span>There is strength within the sorrow</span><br /><span>There is beauty in our tears</span><br /><span>And You meet us in our mourning</span><br /><span>With a love that casts out fear</span><br /><span>You are working in our waiting</span><br /><span>You're sanctifying us</span><br /><span>When beyond our understanding</span><br /><span>You're teaching us to trust</span></div>
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<span>Your plans are still to prosper</span><br /><span>You have not forgotten us</span><br /><span>You're with us in the fire and the flood</span><br /><span>You're faithful forever</span><br /><span>Perfect in love</span><br /><span>You are sovereign over us</span></div>
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<span>You are wisdom unimagined</span><br /><span>Who could understand Your ways</span><br /><span>Reigning high above the Heavens</span><br /><span>Reaching down in endless grace</span><br /><span>You're the lifter of the lowly</span><br /><span>Compassionate and kind</span><br /><span>You surround and You uphold me</span><br /><span>And Your promises are my delight</span><br />
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<span>Even what the enemy means for evil</span><br /><span>You turn it for our good</span><br /><span>You turn it for our good and for Your glory</span><br /><span>Even in the valley, You are faithful</span><br /><span>You're working for our good</span><br /><span>You're working for our good and for Your glory</span><br />
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I believe God will use our pain for his glory. I am happy to announce that I will visit the twins the first weekend in December. Trusting in our faithful and sovereign God to continue working out for good the pain in our lives and the pain in our twins lives.<br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-24504993516349795802017-09-11T04:35:00.000-07:002017-09-11T04:35:06.367-07:00Beauty From AshesI want to give a plug for a really great ministry. Here in Romania when the kids age out of the system at age 18, they are given a little bit of money and sent on their way with no training, no preparation on how to work, no way to survive. There is a ministry in Oradea called, Beauty From Ashes; they take girls from the orphanage at age 18, give them a place to live, teach them to work, teach them about their Heavenly Father, basically they bring them in to live and become part of this family. Corey and Diana Burba live in the home with them. They have two small children of their own. This is a remarkable ministry and we were thrilled to visit with them last week and see first hand what it takes to keep a ministry like this up and running. It takes a lot of work and a lot of love. They are currently fund raising to actually purchase the house they have been renting. One of the first things they do with the girls is teach them to make jewelry. The girls eventually go out and get a job but when they first arrive, most have never worked a day in their life and have to be introduced to it slowly. They start them a few hours a day working in their very own workshop and then it is sold on their etsy site. May I please present to you a wonderful idea for Christmas shopping this year; buy some beautiful and unique handmade jewelry and support a great ministry all at the same time. Here is the link:<br />
<a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/BeautyfromashesUSA?ref=l2-shopheader-name">https://www.etsy.com/shop/BeautyfromashesUSA?ref=l2-shopheader-name</a><br />
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You can never have enough jewelry and they make some really beautiful pieces. I hope you will consider shopping here for the jewelry lovers in your family. I will also share the fund raising link for the house purchase. <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/purchaseorphanhome">https://www.gofundme.com/purchaseorphanhome</a><br />
Please pray for Corey and Diana and the team of workers they have as they teach, train, and prepare these girls to live on their own.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-42151886305892991382017-08-31T06:33:00.000-07:002017-08-31T06:33:40.662-07:00RecommendationsI have some trouble keeping up with this blog because most days my life seems rather dull and there is really nothing to write about. I also struggle to blog because I am not a writer. I discover this more and more as I homeschool 2 high schoolers and try to grade their many writing assignments and realize I know nothing about writing. Thankfully, Baron's Aunt Wanda was a high school English teacher and provides some assistance.<br />
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I wanted to recommend a movie and a book. First, the movie, it's called <i>Lion</i>. I have seen it three times and it has touched me each time. It is based on a true story of a boy lost in India; he somehow escapes being used and sold into the sex slave industry and is miraculously adopted by a family from Australia. It is a very realistic look at what it looks like for these children who many times are not true orphans. They adopt another boy who is deeply troubled. If you want to have your eyes opened to the issues and danger of children being sold and abused, and if you want to see a story of hope, then this is a great movie. Sometimes seeing the huge numbers, as shown at the end of the movie, can be depressing and it can discourage us; what can I possibly do. No, you can't save them all but you can save one, you can impact one or two or more. "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (James 1:27ESV). Not everyone is called to adoption but we are all called to "visit orphans and widows in their affliction." Find out what this looks like for you and help them in their affliction today!<br />
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Second, the book. This book has nothing to do with adoption or orphans but I want to recommend, <i>In Search of the Source,</i> by Neil Anderson with Hyatt Moore. I read this in our home school as a read aloud years ago and have since read it twice more. I am reading it aloud to my youngest this year and he says after every chapter I read I say the same thing, "I love this book!" It is about the Bible being translated into a language that had never been written before, I believe this was in the 1970s. The complicated job it was to first develop an alphabet and a written language for a small people group in Papua New Guinea took dedication and great faith that God wanted His Word translated into every language. I love how he spends time learning the language and getting to know the culture. Many times they would be confused with a literal translation because it didn't make sense to them. For instance by the sweat of man's brow he will work for food. They didn't understand this, they sweat just sitting doing nothing it is so hot there in the tropics. When they talk of working hard, they say, "we burst our stomach." I love how amazed and in love with the words written by God the people are as they start to hear the stories read to them for the first time. They sit on the edge of their seats waiting to see how the story of Joseph ends. Then the part that gets me every time is when they say, "we are dying from the deliciousness of these words." They are so moved by the Word of God. I can not imagine what is like hearing the teachings for the first time, they are so familiar to me, I grew up hearing them from the time I was conceived! It opens my eyes again to how "delicious" God's word should be to me; how precious it should be. It reminds me to not take for granted the fact that I have several copies of God's Word all over my house. It reminds me to pray and ask God to, "open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things from your law" (Psalm 119:18).<br />
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-36111344254471582742017-08-16T08:45:00.003-07:002017-08-16T08:45:57.973-07:00Family TimeSix years ago we were introduced to the mission board called Biblical Ministries Worldwide. We were invited to their missionary conference in Germany and we decided to go. It was a God meeting. We were coming back from a furlough and thinking we had new co workers and then found out our new co workers were not able to stay in Romania due to health reasons. We were completely disappointed; after waiting for years to have co workers it felt like such a let down, but God was at work and had a plan. They invited us to the conference and we went. It was August of 2012 and I don't remember a whole lot about the conference except for when we got in the car and pulled away I started to cry and told Baron I couldn't believe we had been missing out on this kind of fellowship for our first 10 years in Romania! At that point, I knew in my heart I wanted to be part of this board.<br />
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We continued to go back to the conference each year and they always made us feel welcome even though we weren't official family members. For various reasons it took 5 years before we could officially become part of this mission board. It became official last summer and we just got back from our first conference as part of the family! It felt a little different this time. I felt more connected to this group of people that serve God in various European countries. I enjoy hearing their stories, learning about their calling, getting to know their hearts, and being encouraged by them. We learned from the book of Psalms together, we prayed together, we laughed together, and best of all we were real together. There is no better and purer friendships than those where you can be your complete self without any fear.<br />
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The other great thing about being a part of this board and going to this conference is our kids get together with other third culture kids and can completely be themselves and feel safe and have fun. Our two oldest were in the teen group. They took late night walks down to the castle and played games. They talked and laughed a lot and slept very little! They had their own Bible studies with a young man/pastor who is from England and he poured into their lives during the week.<br />
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We had an adventure getting to the conference. We flew into Italy and rented a car. Our plane tickets were $10 round trip for each person, yes you read that correctly! We flew to Bergamo and we missed seeing this old medieval town but we will be visiting it again with such cheap air fare available! We drove through beautiful Switzerland. It is just unreal how beautiful the drive was. We drove back through the Austrian Alps and the Italian Alps. They make tunnels right through the mountains. The longest tunnel we went through was 16km! The drive was just breathtakingly beautiful. Of course on the way back the boys missed most of it as they were exhausted and sleeping. We then spent Monday in Venice, Italy wanting to give the boys a chance to see a new place. They were so tired I don't know how much they enjoyed it. We did have Italian pizza and Italian ice cream (gelato) which as always was delicious.<br />
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Over all it was a really good trip. It's always an adventure traveling through Europe and this time was no exception! We always come home with thankful hearts full and encouraged! </div>
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-17949060203580601982017-07-26T02:53:00.000-07:002017-07-26T02:53:13.129-07:00Hard ThingsGina and I arrived in Greenville, S.C. on January 28, 2016. In February, I joined a gym and started working out, hard workouts, killer workouts, workouts that make you think before you shove another cookie in your mouth! At first, I thought, this is ridiculous, why am I doing this to myself. Then I realized it was a great stress relief. It was one hour each day my mind wasn't trying to find a solution or thinking about being away from my husband and boys or the stress of having a child with mental illness! Then, I started running. Now, let me tell you something, I have never been a runner. I could never even get the President's fitness award in high school because I could not run a mile in under 9 minutes! I ran a 5k in September of 2016 and another one in December then I signed up for a half marathon! Yes, crazy is a good word to insert here. Running for me became about doing something that was very hard for me. It was a huge mental hurdle to get over, physical too yes, but mostly mental. I begin to run because God wants us to do hard things and if I could do this thing that seemed impossible to me then I could do other hard things. I wanted to show my kids that their mom could do something that seemed way beyond her ability. I wanted them to see that I understood they were in a hard situation and I was asking them to do something really hard, face their demons so to speak. Running became my way of supporting my kids and showing them I was behind them. It was my way of showing them we can do hard things, we can have courage, we can do all things through Christ. There were long runs during training that I thought I would never be able to complete 13.1 miles in May! I thought what am I doing! Once I got past running 7 miles the soreness would set in. I would run Saturday morning and then limp around the rest of the day all stiff and feeling old! I was determined though and my running buddy was fun to run with. Stephanie and I would run our Saturday long runs on the Swamp Rabbit Trail. I feel that God gives our bodies the ability to do amazing things if we can just get our minds on board! My exercise program has helped and is helping me to become more disciplined in other areas of my life to. Running has made the verse in Hebrews 12:1 come alive to me, let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. I've learned a lot about the endurance my body is capable of from running. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be crazy enough to train for a full marathon!!<br />
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-3404993234251653492017-07-12T03:13:00.000-07:002017-07-12T03:13:29.646-07:00Adoption Pt.3In the previous post, I wrote about our daughter Gina. For the past two years she really has been the focus of my attention. Joey just kind of ran with the boys and a lot of his problems were over looked because of the severe nature of Gina's issues. When Joey was little, he was quiet and mischievous. You didn't want him to get bored or he would be destroying something, books, furniture, blankets, toys, anything he could get his hands on. We learned very quickly that all scissors and razors should be hidden! Joey is a charmer. He has a beautiful charming side that he puts on for others but as he hit puberty that charming side was only available for others, not for his family. One of his brothers started to notice this and asked me why Joey was so nice to him when they were at a friend's house but when they came home he was mean and grumpy. <br />
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We had him psychologically evaluated and we were told:" Psychologically, Joey is a very empty, depressed, lost and confused youth. There is no question that he has had no formal attachment during his early formative years due to multiple developmental failures. He is often fear based, bored, lost and confused as the world around him is too overwhelming and he tends to 'shut down' or comes out in an acting out manner. This is very common in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and children who come from developmental failure backgrounds in which agitation, irritability or times that total 'shut down' tends to take over."<br />
It was very overwhelming to realize both of our children had severe issues due to their abandonment and lack of consistent care givers in their first 5 years of life. We began to realize how important bonding at an early age was. At first, I thought I would home-school him even while in the states. The psychologist gave us some curriculum ideas that he thought would be a help to Joey. Within the first 3 days of 5th grade, I told my husband to take Joey to the school that was 5 minutes away and enroll him, I couldn't do it. Homeschooling children with attachment issues is not the way to go. There is too much of a struggle between the child and adoptive mom. Joey wasn't willing to learn from me, he didn't think I had anything to offer him.<br />
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We put him in school and his teachers loved him. He was a leader in the class and a good example for all the students who were on the wild side. He was socially awkward and didn't know how to behave in a classroom but he picked up on how to behave quickly. He was chosen by his teacher to be on student council, he was in art club, he was the best runner in the school. At home, he became more and more troubled. He wanted to be entertained at all times and if he got bored he would get into trouble. He is a great artist, natural God given ability to draw but he was easily bored with drawing. He didn't like to read, he didn't like to play computer games. He always wanted us to take him somewhere, he was happy as long as he was the center of attention and as long as he was doing something fun. We tried to start teaching him and training him that life isn't always fun, it's ok to be bored, you still need to make good choices even when you are bored. He began to argue with everything we asked of him. He didn't want help with his homework, he didn't have a teachable spirit, he already knew everything and whatever mom and dad have to stay is just plain stupid! We sought counseling for him. We also signed him up for a type of brain therapy as this was recommended to us by someone to help him with school. The purpose of the therapy was to start teaching him to think before he responds/acts. It was called NILD and Feuerstein therapy. Another problem with both our kids was, no matter the consequence no matter the reward if they got an idea in their head that they thought they needed to do, they were going to do it. Nothing could motivate them towards obedience. They were very obsessive compulsive, they had to do what was in their head to do even if there was a heavy consequence or great reward, no amount of reward charts worked. I think through all of this, he started to feel like an outsider. Our youngest son was more mature and more trust worthy than he was. He started to look at the family as us vs. him. He couldn't see we were trying to teach and train him and if he would just do what he was told he would earn the same privileges his younger brother had. He did not think he should have to do anything to earn privileges. He was a pathological liar. I am not sure he had the know how or ability to tell the truth. Lying was so natural to him. No matter how small or big his first response to any situation was to lie. "No, I didn't shave my eyebrows." As I'm staring at bald spots in his eyebrows. He would argue with me like I was crazy for thinking he shaved his eyebrows. I would finally take him to the mirror and say, "Joey, I can see that you shaved them, please stop lying." Then the story would finally come out, he thought they were too bushy and so even though we told him not to touch razors, if one was left out, he was going to take care of his eyebrows. I am currently reading a book called, "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control." It is giving me great insight into the reason behind the lying. I want to quote a bit from the book: "Research in the field of neuro-science has shown that children who have experienced trauma react to stress out of a state of fear, from an unconscious level, as deep as the state memory. The fear receptor in the brain becomes overly triggered and, in this stress state, the traumatized child's perception of the situation at hand becomes distorted and exceptionally fearful. Children with trauma histories are living out of a primal state of survival. They literally lie from a place of life or death. Their survival is dependent on convincing you that they are telling the truth. In this distortion of their mind, the state level of memory drives them with the conviction that they must persist with this lie at all costs in order to survive. Simple events throughout the child's day can cause intense fear reactions...In order to understand this lying behavior, we must first acknowledge that the child is simply reacting from a state of fear. It is critical that we acknowledge that when children with trauma histories are triggered into their stress and confronted in a lie, they will continue to reinforce the lie. Thus, the awareness that the child's unconscious is saying, 'I have to convince you I'm telling the truth because my life depends on it' is necessary in order for the parent to respond from a place of love, instead of a place of fear and punishment."<br />
This has really helped me understand where they are coming from when they lie. Unfortunately, I didn't respond in this way to the lying. It will drive you insane if you don't have an understanding of the why behind these ridiculous lies. They can have chocolate all over their face or you saw them to something with your own eyes and they will look at you and deny it over and over!<br />
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In January of this year, we started wondering what we could do to best help Joey. He did not want to go back to Romania. He did not want to home-school again. I did not want to home-school him. We started looking for other options. A family he could stay with and continue with school and brain therapy. We looked and prayed and nothing opened up. We talked with the case worker at Watersprings just to see if she had any ideas and she told us if we wanted, they would take Joey too. By this time, Gina was making great progress and it seemed like since many of Joey's struggles were the same as hers, maybe this was the road we should choose. We prayed, we talked to his counselor and then in March we made the decision that at the end of the school year we would take him to live at the ranch for right now. The goals for him there are to find healing and the ability to move forward by him realizing his identity is found in Christ, not in his past, not in what happened to him, not even in his adoptive family. The other goal is for him to get up to grade level. He has struggled with school and it took a few years for them to get the English language down which put them behind. I was never able to gain their trust enough to help them catch up, we would barely get through that day;s assignments! We took him to Watersprings Ranch on Memorial Day weekend. He wasn't happy about going although he wanted to stay in the states, he just had a different idea of what that would look like. We also were glad the twins would get the chance to bond again. He gave us a very flat good-bye and as we (Baron, Andrew, Nate, and myself) pulled away we were all crying. You feel so bad that your adoptive child feels so bad. It feels bad that they feel bad and yet have no idea why they feel so bad. It hurts to know your child needs someone other than you to provide the help they need. It is natural to leave your child behind for college (even though it is hard), but they are ready to start moving on. Leaving your 13 year olds behind doesn't feel natural, it doesn't feel right but I know it was the right thing to do. I know that God is using others to work in their lives. Watersprings Ranch is located in Texarkansa, Arkansas. If you every feel led to donate to an organization that helps kids from difficult backgrounds, kids with attachment issues, kids who need someone other than adoptive parents to step in and guide them, then please donate to this organization. I have spoken with Joey once so far and he sounded really good on the phone. I'm looking forward to seeing what God is going to do in and through Joey.<br />
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For those who are walking this road, know that you are not alone. You need to know that even though you feel guilty for needing respite from your child, you do need respite at times. You also need to know that sending your child away to get help is not abandoning them again. It can feel like it but it is just doing what is best for them and your other children. I have been able to spend time with my other kids and see that some of them have suffered due to my lack of being there for them the past few years. It's hard to make a decision like this but you have to look at the big picture and realize for your child or your other children to have a future sometimes drastic steps have to be taken. You can not worry about what people think, if someone has not walked this road they have no right to tell you that you are making a mistake and how could anyone send their child away, or I could never do that!! You have to make hard and difficult decisions and take everyone in your family into consideration when making this decision. We knew God wasn't finished with us in Romania, we knew that we didn't have the resources needed here to meet Gina and Joey's needs and we knew God had opened this door for them. If you need help please reach out. I don't have all the answers but I can listen and encourage you and let you know you aren't alone and remind you of God's promises to you. I can also provide you with a list of places/services that may be helpful to you.<br />
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These kids are not just "rebellious." Their behaviors are rooted in fear and a need to survive. It seems absurd to us that a child wouldn't feel safe and secure and loved with a family he has never been abused in and has had his or her every need met for the past 7 years but the first years of their life are so important. They did not form a bond with anyone in those first 5 years, they did not have a primary care giver to make them feel safe and this has affected their ability to attach to us and feel safe with us. At some point, yes, the sin has to be dealt with but until you can get to the root of the problem there is no way for the child to even see his sin because he is so sure he has to lie or disobey to survive that in he mind, he is justified to behave this way. We learned this the hard way. Parenting these kids looks very different from parenting a child you had from birth. I encourage people who feel called to adopt to read. Here are some books I've read that I recommend:<br />
1. "Detached" by Jessie Hogsett. Written from the perspective of a person with RAD.<br />
2. "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" Very good information on what is going to cause some of the behaviors.<br />
3. "The Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis.<br />
I also recommend you find in your area a counselor that has specialized training with attachment disorder. Find a support group. Find people to support you after you bring the child/children home.<br />
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I will continue with a few more blog posts on what God has taught me through all of this and how He has sustained me even when there were times I felt like I was just falling and there was no end. God is good. He does provide at just the right time and I continue to learn to trust Him at all times. I still struggle with the fact that we had to make this decision. It is a daily battle to not give into self pity or wonder if we did the right thing. God's grace is sufficient for each day. Each day, He gives me the grace I need to get through that day. I look forward with hope, that our family will be reunited and that God will encourage and strengthen all my children as this has been a difficult road to walk for each of them.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-195684530406057862017-07-03T07:36:00.001-07:002017-07-03T07:36:50.209-07:00Adoption Pt. 2The story gets harder to write here. The pain is fresh although I don't know that it ever gets any easier to write about a painful event in your life. As the twins got older, their problems seemed to grow, especially Gina's. Looking back though, I don't think that Gina's problems were worse than Joey's, hers were just more aggressive and he got overlooked because of that, which didn't help him. It seems when they turned 11 and puberty hit, that Gina really started to lose it. The fall of 2015 we seemed to hit an all time low in being able to control her any longer. Our days were spent either trying to keep her busy and happy to avoid a fit of rage or trying to help her work through a fit of rage. All my time was poured into her and I struggled with keeping up with homeschooling the other children. Her fits of rage became not just about not getting her way, her fits of anger and rage become more directed towards us her parents. She would yell hateful words, she would scream, hit, and growl. If she lost control and went into a rage, it was hours before she would calm down. It disrupted the whole family. I would look around and realize all the boys were gone, hiding somewhere, trying to find a quiet place. Normally they all 5 went upstairs to the oldest boys' room. Her fits were so bad that I did everything in my power to keep her from going into one, sometimes simply not doing school and entertaining her all day. We searched for counselors, we searched for psychologist. She didn't understand enough Romanian anymore to work with a Romanian psychologist. We were introduced to an American couple who are biblical counselors. They were very supportive of especially Baron and myself but it just seemed Gina was beyond anyone's reach. She had gotten to a point where the voices in her head were so loud that she couldn't calm herself enough to take counsel from anyone. She was saying crazy things, she was talking about people being hurt, she was talking about wishing we would be hurt. She wished the house would burn down with us in it. She cried out in her pain that she wished she was dead, she wished God had never created her. She actually said to us, "why did your God make me." I can't tell you how painful it is to watch your child be in this much pain and feel hopeless to do anything about it. Our counselor friends in Timisoara, Mark and Diane even made an emergency trip to our house on probably more than one occasion. Sometimes it seemed to help when someone else would come around to calm her down. Finally, on January 27, 2016 she was being so destructive, throwing things in her room, yelling and screaming, that for her safety we cleared everything out of her room except her bed. That's when Baron made the decision to buy Gina and I a ticket to the states for the very next day. We knew we couldn't live like this anymore. Baron couldn't minister to anyone else, he didn't have time to do anything because I was always calling him home to help me. We wondered how exactly she would respond and how I would get her on the plane but surprisingly, she seemed excited and immediately calmed down and started packing her bags. There was no amount of reward or consequences that helped, once the torch of anger was lit, nothing we said or did would calm her down. She was just so troubled and angry and she didn't know why and she was frustrated. It was time to seek help in America.<br />
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The three months we were in the states without Baron and the boys were extremely hard. I felt resentment in my heart towards Gina for taking me away from my husband and rest of my kids. She would have a really bad day, saying mean and hateful things, pushing me away, then the next day she would want a hug and wonder why I didn't respond warmly back to her. It just got to a point where I couldn't pretend anymore. She would have a really bad day and wake up the next day wondering why everyone was keeping their distance. She couldn't understand why we couldn't just pretend nothing had happened the day before. Our first 4 weeks in the states were calm. We stayed with my parents and she was enrolled in public school. I told them up front why we were there and they were very understanding and accepting. At first she was so calm I thought maybe it was just homeschooling setting her off. Maybe that was all it took but after 4 weeks, she no longer tried to hide it from my family, she went into her fits of rage again. This time even more fierce, she began to hit, bite, and kick me. While she was in school, I was making phone calls and visiting places and searching for help. I told her I was looking for somewhere to send her to get help. We found a counselor who was also a Christian. He advised me to seek outside care when she got violent to protect her and myself. One night we finally ended up in the ER. She was a danger to herself and others. I guess through all this I tried to find things to be thankful for. A lot of kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder can hide their behavior from others and only act out in front of the parents or mom. Gina could not hide her mental illness from others. She wouldn't necessarily rage in front of other people (except my family) but she would verify my story to the doctors in the ER as to her behavior which was helpful. They involuntarily admitted her to a psych hospital in Columbia, SC. Policemen came and transported her there, I couldn't even accompany her. It was heart wrenching. It didn't phase Gina. She acted like she was just going for a fun ride, she immediately started asking them questions as if they were going on a field trip. Obviously her 10 days in the psych ward did nothing to help her but it gave me time to re group and think. They put her on a couple of different medicines which didn't help her. One of the medicines had the side effect of suicidal thoughts which she was already having on her own. Within one month I took her off both of them. It got to an all time low again, she was raging constantly, I didn't know what to do. I had an appointment with a psychologist in Virginia who specializes in children who had spent time in an institution but that wasn't until May. Baron was coming in May. Our life line family at our supporting church in Taylors, SC had taken Gina for weekends but now she offered to take her for the next 5 weeks until Baron arrived and we took her to Virginia. I pulled her out of school and she spent the next 5 weeks with our dear friends the Garzonys. I needed the respite care and that is exactly what our friends did for us, they offered a respite. I was also introduced to a woman who had dealt with families with troubled children for years and during this time she would spend time counseling me, listening to me, but not letting me stay in self pity mode. She would give me the truth, she would tell me this was hard, and then she would tell me I had to deal with my own heart issues. I couldn't fix Gina but I could deal with the bitterness that was growing in my own heart. Another respite for me was our church sent me to Edisto Island for a few days. I was able to spend some time asking God for direction.<br />
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Fast forward 5 weeks. Baron arrives and we take the twins to Virginia to see this specialist. He gave us a really big discount. I even called and said I think it would be a waste to bring Gina, we are looking for a place to care for her, we don't want to waste the money. He told us to bring her, he would see her for free. We decided to get Joey evaluated too as we saw many signs and symptoms in him that were troubling, he just so often got overlooked because of the violent nature of Gina's outbursts. There was a day of testing for each child. We were advised that Gina needed professional help, that if we didn't get a respite from her we couldn't really help Joey at all. Her needs were really beyond what we could help her with. He did advise we try to find a psychiatrist in SC who would put her on Abilify. We were seeing a psychiatrist in Greenville, after her discharge from the psych hospital we were required to see one. I asked him about Abilify, he didn't put her on it. Finally as Gina continued to rage and we had no control over her I went back to the psychiatrist and pleaded with him to try her on Abilify. He did and within 3 days her raging was more under control. I felt like now, she was in a place where she could maybe get help somewhere because the medicine had quieted her some. Long story short, we found a place in Illinois. It was expensive but we hoped they could help. We sent her there. I went to work, night shift taking care of a lady. Baron and the boys delivered yellow pages. Within 6 weeks, our insurance kicked her out. They said since she wasn't raging there, there was no need for her to be there. The institution fought to keep her there, they told our insurance it was not a good idea to send her home. We were worried but God was working. We were desperately making phone calls. The institution she was in was desperately fighting with our insurance company to keep her there. God provided a place called Watersprings Ranch. We called, they had a bed and said it sounded like she was a good fit for their program (we had interviewed at several other programs that felt she her level of need was greater than they could handle). Within 5 days we drove up to Illinois, picked her up and took her down to Arkansas. When we left Illinois Gina bawled. She had not cried in years. She had gotten attached to a boy. She became boy crazy, another dangerous issue, but the positive thing to me was she was attached enough to someone to cry and weep because she had to leave. My twins were without emotion really and this was a first positive step to her road to healing. This new place was a God send. They run on donations, we no longer had the burden of coming up with a big chunk of money each month to keep her there. The second HUGE blessing, was this place is completely Christ centered. They believe that the children find healing when they find their identity in Christ. When they are able to forgive the hurt the past has caused them, then they are able to start healing and moving forward. I had difficulty believing that such a perfect environment had opened up for Gina. We moved her to Watersprings the first of September. They have house parents in each home. It is very family like, each house with 5 to 8 kids. They prepare and eat their meals at home, they have chores, they have a consistent set of house parents. It is hard for someone who has never dealt with a child with attachment issues to think of sending a child away as being the right thing to do. There was such a wall up between Gina and us that someone else had to help her. We assured her of our love, that we would always be her parents, and the goal was for her to come home again some day. I really can't tell you the pain of leaving a troubled child somewhere. I knew things couldn't continue to go as they were but I hated the option of sending her away. It seemed as though it was the best thing for her and the rest of our family. Through all this raging, she also became very interested in having a relationship with a boy. She was looking for love but didn't really know how to accept love. We were very worried for her but also worried if we kept her at home we were going to lose our other children as well. It took me longer to get to the place where I realized that sending her away was the right decision. Baron had reached that conclusion way back in January when he put her and I on a plane. My mother's heart just didn't want this to be the answer. I wanted to be able to stick this out and fix this but God showed me that was my pride and I had to step out of the way and get on board with what was best for Gina and the rest of the family. <br />
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Words can't adequately express the changes going on in Gina's life. The first few months I would talk to her on the phone and she was still tough, antagonizing, and looking for a fight. When I talked to her in December, she seemed different, softer. Then when I talked to her in January she told me with excitement that she had let Jesus come into her life and take control. I immediately planned a visit and went to see her in February. She had such a peace about her, she didn't have to constantly babble about nothing, she listened to counsel. It was a wonderful visit and I hated to leave her. She was able to express to me things I never thought I'd hear come from her mouth. She told me it was good that she moved from the first place, she told me she knew she was getting the help she needed, she didn't ask to come home but she did talk of coming home some day in the future. I left with a full heart seeing the change that was taking place in my daughter. In April, just before her 13th birthday, she had a set back. She exploded again. I was able to talk to her the next day and she was able to express the fact that she had been keeping some things inside and not sharing them with anyone. She had never been able to express things like this before. She would just explode and then it was over and she had nothing to say. We visited her in May and she has made such progress. She is like a different child. She told me she knew God had provided Watersprings Ranch and that she knew she was getting the help she needed. She was also able to tell me she was working on forgiving her birth mother for abandoning her and she was working on moving forward with her life. Please continue to pray for Gina Grace that she will focus on her relationship with Christ and not boys. That she will continue to listen to counsel. The goal is to eventually wean her off the medicine. We can't thank God enough for the work he is doing in her life. My next post will be a little more of Joey's story. We are so thankful that God provided a place like Watersprings Ranch and thankful for the change He is cultivating in Gina's life.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-26215684690832045102017-06-26T09:09:00.002-07:002017-06-26T09:09:47.063-07:00Adoption: Pt. 1 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We first met the twins just a month before their 4th birthday. They had been abandoned at birth by a very poor mother who had about 5 other kids and lived in a leaky one room hut. She was overwhelmed and didn't know what she would do with 2 babies so her best option, she thought, was to leave them in the care of the hospital. They were there for 6 months, not the best environment for development for the first 6 months of life. At 6 months, they were taken to a private children's home. Here, they had many people who loved them but again, it wasn't ideal. They had many care givers who loved them but when you've been neglected and abandoned, love is not enough. Care givers came and care givers went and the twins were never able to learn how to form a lasting bond with anyone. We were introduced to them and decided we would pursue adopting them unless God closed a door.</div>
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We knew from the time we moved to Romania that we would adopt. We knew nothing of attachment disorder, we were starry eyed and thought we could take in a child or two and they would be part of our family and know they were loved and the rest would be history. Adoption is the perfect picture of how God adopts us into his family. We are not pretty, we are messy, sinful, rebellious and yet he takes us in with all our baggage. We call him Father and He loves us as we are and begins to help us change but it's a long process. In a country full of fatherless children, we knew God was calling us to this.</div>
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We met these two beautiful sweet gypsy children and fell in love with them. The process was slow. We thought we would at least be granted custody fairly quickly so we told them on our second visit we wanted to be their mom and dad. They immediately begin calling us mom and dad. Then we realized we probably shouldn't have told them so quickly as it was a year long process before we were given custody of them. It was a hard year, bringing them home for a week visit, then taking them the 4 hours back to the orphanage. Joey especially was upset every time we dropped him off. It didn't seem to phase Gina, she would run back in, wave bye and that would be it. Joey would cry, he was sad, he didn't understand why mom was bringing him back to the orphanage. Finally, on their 5th birthday, April 22, 2009, we were granted custody. They didn't have our name yet but they were in our home and we were a family at last! We were complete!</div>
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We had a year long honeymoon period. I was told Gina was a screamer but we never saw it in that first year. It was an amazing year, they smiled and laughed and spoke broken English. It was so much fun! Then after the first year, real life set in. That is when Gina had her first screaming fit. Boy could she scream even though she was little! It was usually only once a week sometimes only twice a month. She was little, she was manageable and she was usually just angry she didn't get her way. She never expressed anger or hatred towards us. She just didn't understand why she couldn't always have what she wanted. This began our long road to realizing our kids had a lot of baggage to deal with and we began to realize there were many emotional delays. We read a lot of books on how to help children from institutions. We loved them, we tried to be very consistent with what we expected of them. We tried rewards, we tried consequences, we tried keeping them busy, we tried keeping them on a tight schedule, we tried entertaining them all the time, we tried to teach them to entertain themselves. The walls were colored, furniture was colored, scissors had to be hidden (hair cuts, eyebrows, bed linen). When they got bored they would just mindlessly destroy something. The other kids would get frustrated when they would save up to buy something and then shortly after they made their purchase if Joey got his hands on it, it would be broken. We tried to remember things aren't important but we also tried to teach the twins to take care of things and to respect other people's property to no avail. Much later we realized they were OCD. It didn't matter what form of punishment or consequences they knew would come, if they had something in their head that they thought needed to be done, nothing was going to stop them from following through with it. They were funny and full of energy. It always felt when they were little like they tag teamed. It felt like somehow they discussed which one was going to give mom the most trouble that day. Thankfully, they never had a really bad day at the same time! We could never leave them without supervision. It was challenging too because our youngest son is 2 years younger then them but he has always been more responsible but the twins always thought we favored their younger brother because he had more privileges then they did.<br />
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<br />
Homeschooling was difficult. It was hard to tell if they really didn't understand something or if they just weren't in the mood to learn that day. There was also the language barrier. Not so much a barrier for us but trying to help them learn phonics in English was a slow process. In the midst of all this, we still had formed a love for them that could only come from God. We loved them, the boys loved them, they were our family. When they were 6 1/2 they finally received our last name and our names on their birth certificates. I'm not sure how significant this was for them since they already felt like family; they had been living with us for 18 months. The day they received their blue passports close to their 7th birthday they were so excited! It made them feel like part of the family since their passports matched ours!<br />
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We had no idea what Attachment Disorder was but would soon learn more about it. Attachment Disorder is when there has been a failure to form normal attachments to a primary care giver in early childhood. A frequent change in caregivers, many caregivers, or a lack of caregiver responsiveness to a child results in a lack of basic trust. The twins had many wonderful caregivers who deeply loved them. One of them actually has kept in contact with us all these years. They did the best they could for our twins but they were volunteers and they came and they went which made it difficult for the twins to be able to form lasting bonds with any one caregiver. The first time I went to pick the twins up and bring them home for a visit, I went by train. I got them on the train with me and a man with a beard sat next to us. Gina jumped into his lap and was rubbing his beard before I could even respond. No one was a stranger. We had to begin to try to teach them about the dangerous people that were out in the world. To them, everyone was their friend. They would talk to anyone and asked strangers the most personal of questions.<br />
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I remember how entertained they were by seeing me after my shower with wet hair. They had never experienced any of their caregivers getting ready in the morning. They always just showed up ready for the day. They would just stand in the bathroom and watch me dry and fix my hair. Joey's nose would bring him out to the kitchen when dinner was being cooked. He loved to eat and any time he smelled food, he'd be in the kitchen smelling, mouth watering, waiting for what was going to be put on the table. After breakfast he'd ask what we were going to have for lunch. After lunch he'd want to know what was for supper. So many new delights and it was fun to watch them get used to what life in a family was like. <br />
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Even though they were 5 years old when they moved in with us, it was like starting at the very beginning. They had no idea what it was like living with a family, being part of a family, having boundaries, and not having to fight for attention. They needed constant attention and supervision. <br />
<br />
I think the adoption mindset is changing but raising the huge amount of money needed for foreign adoptions is the smallest of hurdles to jump over. It seems like people are a part of the adoption journey until you bring the children home and then they assume it's over. When the children are actually adopted is when the family will need the most support. Especially a family who adopts an older child from a traumatic background. They need your love and continual support and understanding. Many adoptions are "happily ever after" stories but just as many are not and those are the families that need a lot of support and understanding. They need for people to step in and assist them, help them find the counseling and help that they and their children need. If you have friends that have adopted or are adopting, don't walk away when they bring the child/children home. In a later post, I will tell you some of the many ways that people in the states came a long side me (I arrived in the states with Gina 3 months before Baron) and helped carry the heavy load of finding help for Attachment Disorder.</div>
Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-51647506116133213992017-06-21T02:59:00.000-07:002017-06-21T02:59:53.229-07:00HomeIt's been over 2 years since I've updated this blog! I've been thinking about writing again for a while but just haven't had the words to put down yet. I still don't really know if I can express what I want to share but I do want to share our journey over the past 2 years with our daughter. I won't start on this one but I do want to say leaving America is always hard for me; leaving America this time with 3 children still there was extremely hard. I wanted God to not make me leave. I wanted this to not be our path but it is our path and I can live in misery going my own path or I can settle in peacefully to the path God has for our family. God is teaching me so much through these difficult times. So many times I'm pulled to wanting to stay in my comfort zone, it's easy to stay in wealth and comfort...God doesn't want us to stay in our comfort zone. <br />
I read a devotion by Paul Tripp this morning: "The call to deny yourself will be a challenge, but remember - it's a rescuing grace. you will never find life in your spouse, in your children, in accumulating possessions, in the esteem of friends, in the most beautiful location, or even in theological knowledge.<br />
Taking up your Cross daily means putting to death your sinful and selfish desires and accepting a life-giving invitation that the Enemy and created world can never offer: the all-surpassing glory of knowing Christ.<br />
This is the world's best prize. This is the universe's best banquet. This is the only thing that will give your life meaning and fill you with lasting joy."<br />
I had so much support this past year in the States and knowing that so many of you are praying is such an encouragement as we begin this new phase of life. I will little by little try to start sharing our journey in hopes that other families who have adopted and are going through a difficult time will be encouraged and not feel alone.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-89177031479944460252015-02-04T02:14:00.001-08:002015-02-04T02:15:18.822-08:00BraggingZach had to write a three-dimensional piece. He received an A+++ (By the way, I don't grade his papers, his Aunt Wanda who is a high school English teacher grades them.) I may be a bit biased but I'd say this is a really good three-dimensional realism paper describing our house!!<br />
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As I open the age-old door leading to my home, a sense of security and contentment washes over me. As warmth slaps me in the face, I am met by the tantalizing redolence of freshly baked cookies which floats through the air and as it lingers around me, I can taste the melting chocolate already on my tongue. The counters are littered with supplies that have been prepared for the coterminous meal. The cupboards' delicious snacks have been ransacked, but the vegetable area has been mercifully left untouched.<br />
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Pushing open a squat, run-down door to my right, I come across a friendly room. This room has seen visitors from all corners of the globe. An experienced armchair rests elegantly in one corner, overseeing a carpeted sitting area, complete with a large, blue couch. A scarred table stands off to the side, surrounded by ligneous chairs. Three doors regally guard their dominions, one is behind me, one is in the near corner, leading to a restroom, and the other is in the center of the opposite wall.<br />
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The tall, time-honored, and ugly door swings open to reveal an energetic room. Raucous children spring from beds, crawl under chairs, and laugh. The laughter is contagious, as is the vivacity. In this lively place, the furniture struggles to keep up. They have survived many days with countless wrestling matches, races, and ball games. The television has been crammed into a corner to the left of the door I had just entered. A room divider splits up a small couch and a table, patiently waiting in front of the television, and the rest of the room. Along the walls are three large shelves, of various sizes. The largest of the three is situated alongside the television, in the front half of the room. The other is much smaller, sitting in a corner along the wall in between the two divided rooms. The third is the smallest, and happily holds its supply of children's books in the farthest point of the room.<br />
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Two very old doors are on the right wall. The nearest one leads to a restroom, and past that a smaller-scale version of the room I was just in. This one is pink, filled with dolls, tea sets, and books. The farthest door leads to a suffocated room. Books, notebooks, computers, pencils, paper, and other items have buried the room. Four desks stretch across the room, and an eccentric and curious staircase piles upward. This staircase is nothing more than a large, cement block, with rickety, shaky, and winding steps lead up. <br />
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Traveling up the stairs, I enter a cluttered office space. An L-shaped desk takes up space in one corner, with books, paper, commentaries, a printer, copier, laptop, and monitor clog up the space on the desk. The adjoining room has no doorway to separate itself from the office, rather a shorter section of wall caves in and allows me to enter a cozy bedroom. a large bed demands my attention, at its two sides are two tables. One table is filled with magazines, yarn, and knitting material. The other contains candy wrappers and bowls from last night's snack.<br />
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As I make my way back to the office, I see two familiar doors. The nearest one leads to a bathroom. The farther one enters into a short hallway with a bookshelf overfilled with books, and at the right yet another door.<br />
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As I reach the end of the short hall, I turn left and see a very long hallway. This one extends much farther. It is so covered in boxes I can hardly walk. Boxes of clothes, boxes of shoes, boxes of books, boxes of toys, boxes of old gadgets. Wilted flowers, fans, boards, dress shirts, plastic, and many other outmoded objects have taken refuge in this dreary hallway.<br />
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After I have taken in the hallway, I enter the door by the bookshelf. A small, cozy room introduces itself. Shelves laden with books and clothes take up all the wall space, as well as an ugly wooden desk and a bunk bed. This room may seem messy and ugly to most, but to me, this room is home. This is where I am content and happy.<br />
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-4003942517787963772014-11-30T21:52:00.000-08:002014-11-30T21:52:04.645-08:00AdventIt is Advent season, it has finally arrived. I wait every year with such anticipation for this time of year and it seems that every year I plan on really understanding the meaning of Christmas and every year it hurries by and I seem to have forgotten to take the time to sit and be still and know that he is God. I want to share what has touched me this morning from the little book called, "The Dawning of Indestructible Joy" by John Piper. I am praying for the fullness of Christ this Advent season.<br />
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The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth...For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.<br />
John 1:14-16<br />
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Reasons why we can experience the "fullness of Christ":<br />
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~the one from whose fullness I am being drenched with grace is the Word that was with God and was God (John 1:1-2), so that his fullness is the fullness of God--a divine fullness, an infinite fullness;<br />
~this Word became flesh and so was one of us and was pursuing us with his fullness--so it is an accessible fullness;<br />
~when this Word appeared in human form, his glory was seen--his is a glorious fullness;<br />
~this Word was "the only Son from the Father" so that the divine fullness was being mediated to me not just from God but through God--God did not send an angel but his only Son to deliver his fullness;<br />
~the fullness of the Son is a fullness of grace--I will not drown in this fullness but be blessed in every way by this fullness;<br />
~this fullness is not only a fullness of grace but also of truth--I am not being graced with truth-ignoring flattery; this grace is rooted in rock-solid reality.<br />
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I am praying that I will experience Christ's fullness, not just know about it. I feel a little ADD, I don't like to sit still and be quiet, when I sit still, I think of a million things I should be doing, but this Advent season I am choosing to give myself time and quietness to seek the fullness of Christ. If I am busy running around I will never experience this fullness, it takes time, it takes time meditating on his Word, pondering truth, and contemplating these things as Mary did in her heart. My prayer this season is Paul's prayer in Ephesians 3:14-19, "that <em>I</em> may be filled with all the fullness of God"--that I may have power "to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge."<br />
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I want to be intentional this season and take time to see Christ, to see the reason for this season that is such a happy time. I want to soak in this indestructible joy that the world cannot give, only Jesus can give this kind of joy!<br />
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Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-36903292707667727602014-08-13T13:31:00.002-07:002014-08-13T13:31:42.361-07:00SummerIt seems as though I blinked my eyes and summer was over! Why is it that summer always seems to come and go like a whirlwind? Oh what a summer we had! We finished school then Spencer and I were off to America for 2 fun filled weeks. I was able to go to Orlando, Florida to the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference. I was greatly blessed by the teaching and fellowship. I spent time with family and friends and got reacquainted with some old friends. It was such a blessed time. We got back and just a few days later Z and S were off to camp. Then we had a team of 10 Americans come from North Hills Community Church in Greenville, S.C. come and we held our 2nd annual English Summer Camp at School #6 in Lugoj. The team left Saturday and I packed up 5 out of 6 children to go to camp for a week. The 4 youngers were campers and our eldest was a volunteer. I used that week to plan out the school year. The kids came home with every piece of clothing they own dirty as dirty can be. They arrived Saturday afternoon and I had to do their laundry and get them re packed and ready to go Monday morning to Germany for the Biblical Ministries Worldwide European missionaries conference. We got off to a rough start but we got on the road finally Monday a little later then planned. We got a ticket in Austria and in Germany were pulled over by customs officials but we finally made it to our final destination on Tuesday afternoon! What a fun week of encouragement and fellowship and being challenged by fellow laborers. Our kids love this week and enjoy seeing their fellow MK friends and meeting other kids from all over Europe. This week makes them realize what a special treat it is to grow up overseas. What a community of friends our children have. We have found so much wonderful fellowship and friendship in the BMW community and feel like we are already part of their family. This was our third year attending and we have already started saving up for next year's trip! We spent an extra day coming home and planned to visit Eagle's Nest but due to the rain we went and visited a salt mine instead. We drove through the beautiful Austrian Alps and enjoyed the scenery of God's beautiful creation. We enjoyed some beautiful cool weather on our trip and now are back in hot Romania. It makes me so thankful that the summer heat is temporary and thankful that fall is just around the corner.<br />
It really has been an action packed and fun summer. There hasn't been a dull moment. I think the only sad part is all the good byes we've had to say but it makes us thankful for all the sweet times of fellowship we can have with friends from all over! Looking forward to the day we all get to see Jesus and spend eternity with him and never ever have to say good bye again! Until that day, we'll keep pressing forward and serving Him and following Him.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-57420252355273629712014-06-13T01:19:00.002-07:002014-06-13T01:19:44.258-07:00SonlightI have Sonlight grade 2 curriculum for sale. I will bring it with me to Greenville in another week. I have the teachers schedule/manual which has check marks on all the days as we have gone through this curriculum twice now. I have the Science: Animals, Astronomy, and Physics course and books. The only thing missing in the course is some of the major history books. I would love to sell them for $150. Here is the list of books:<br />
Science: <br />
The Usborne World of Animals<br />
Night Animals<br />
The Usborne Book of Science Activities, Volume 1<br />
Discover and Do Level 1 DVD<br />
See How It's Made<br />
The Magic School Bus: At the Waterworks<br />
The Usborne Internet-Linked First Encyclopedia of the Human body<br />
What Makes You Ill?<br />
Why Do People Eat?<br />
Pasteur's Fight Against Microbes<br />
Space<br />
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Read Alouds:<br />
The Aesop for children<br />
The Apprentice<br />
Castle Diary<br />
Cornstalks: A Bushel of Poems<br />
The Cricket in Times Square<br />
The Door in the Wall<br />
Ginger Pye<br />
Kildee House<br />
A Little Princess<br />
The Little Riders<br />
The Minstrel in the Tower<br />
A Poke in the I<br />
Red Sails to Capri<br />
The School Story<br />
Strawberry Girl<br />
Tales of Robin Hood<br />
The Twenty-One Balloons<br />
White Stallion of Lipizza<br />
And the Word Came with Power<br />
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Reading with Easy Readers:<br />
The Beginner's Bible<br />
Surprises<br />
Pompeii: Buried Alive!<br />
Owl at Home<br />
Frog and Toad are Friends<br />
Mouse Tales<br />
Greg's Microscope<br />
Hill of Fire<br />
Frog and Toad All Year<br />
Daniel's Duck<br />
Amelia Bedelia<br />
Nate the Great<br />
Frog and Toad Together<br />
The Big Balloon Race<br />
The Fire Cat<br />
The Sword in the Tree<br />
Wagon Wheels<br />
The Titanic: Lost...And Found<br />
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World History (only a partial list)<br />
Eric The red and Leif The Lucky<br />
Explorer's News<br />
Gladys Aylward<br />
Good Queen Bess<br />
Maps and globes<br />
Michelangelo<br />
Peter the Great<br />
Window on the world<br />
(Do not have: The Usborne Book of World History, Time Traveler: Vikings, Time Traveler: Knights and Castles, A Child's History of the World)<br />
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I have the Awesome Book of Bible Facts that goes with the Bible readings but many of the pages have torn apart from the binding, I have all pages in the book but the book is not in great condition)<br />
I also have the Horizons math grade 2 teachers guide.<br />
Contact me if interested. I am willing to ship it but would prefer someone in the Greenville area and we can arrange a pick up.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-53476527998233367382014-03-21T14:07:00.001-07:002014-03-21T14:08:21.653-07:00Letter to an AngelSometimes as a mother, you have to brag on your children a little bit. I take no credit whatsoever for my oldest son's writing skills. I am no writer. He has had a love of books since he was a toddler and would sit looking at books as a two year old for hours at a time, yes I said hours and I am not exaggerating. Well, his love of reading and books has given him quite the creative mind. Aunt Wanda, a high school English teacher grades his papers and she gave him an A on this paper. He has finished reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and then he was assigned to write his own letter but instead of a head demon writing to a lower class demon he had to write a letter from a head angel to a lower class angel informing how to influence "his Christian." So, without further adieu here is the letter.<br />
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Dear Clarence (Angel Second Class),<br />
Our King has assigned to you an American Christian male to guard. Because he is a novice to his new found faith in the King, he is unstable and quick to falter. I wish you luck in keeping him safe for the King to use. Remember Clarence, do everything you do for God's glory!<br />
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Your Christian, as all young Christians are, is unsure of his priorities. Before coming to know the King, he was a sports addict. The king does not forbid sports, but the Prince told them, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other." Whenever he begins his day listening to game recaps or spends Sunday evening watching games, remind him of Jesus' words in Matthew 6:19-24. He must be convinced that only God can change Him. Not even you, Clarence, can completely change him.<br />
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In your Christian's beginning weeks, he struggled to spend time with God before going to work. He places his job higher than he does God. He does not yet realize that God will take care of him! Somehow he manages to watch pointless TV shows at night, but he convinces himself he doesn't have the time necessary to give God the time He deserves. Remind him that he needs to spend time in God's Word in order to grow. As always, give him a Bible passage to read, try these verses: I Corinthians 3:2-3.<br />
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Many times, your Christian will not understand what he is reading in God's Word. You will have to help him many times understand passages. help him to realize the importance of meditation. There are many Bible passages teaching meditation. For instance, show him Psalms 1:1-2. Once he realizes the true value of meditation, he will fully understand what God wants for him in his Christian walk of faith. With God at his side, anything is possible in this man's life.<br />
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We are praying for you and your Christian,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Michael the Archangel <br />
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<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-31232340887914964422014-03-10T07:19:00.001-07:002014-03-10T07:19:33.989-07:00A Little TripI guess you can assume since I haven't posted much that life has been rather quiet. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have anything important to say so why say anything! I still don't have anything greatly important to say just letting all 3 of my followers know I'm alive and well!<br />
I have been convicted greatly in the area of impacting others lives. We have a group of girls over every Saturday from the children's home. I hesitate to call them orphans because technically they aren't. They have been abandoned for various reasons, some still have contact with their parents others not so much. I have realized that a few hours each Saturday isn't really doing much for them and although not all of them will be able to, we want to let those who can, stay the weekend with us. Thanks to generous people we will be able to buy a bunk bed this week and then we will start having some girls and take it from there. Some of them desperately want a family and have told us they wished we could be their parents (none of them are adoptable). Others in the group have verbalized they are content with the freedom they have at the orphanage and would not want a family. All I can ask is that you be in prayer that we can impact these girls for Christ, that they will know the love the Father has for them, and that we can impact them to not make the same mistake their parents made and leave them without a family.<br />
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My next bit of news is exciting for me...I am visiting my family in Greenville for 2 weeks this summer. I am taking Spencer with me. It all came about over a silly little chat with a friend on Facebook and it turned into a trip! My wonderful husband agreed to it and I will be going to a Ladies' Bible conference in Florida for a few days with my friend. I look forward to being refreshed and a small break from normal life. I'm also glad I don't have to make the flight alone, my big teenager, Spencer will be accompanying me (he will be 14 by then). We just hope he doesn't get travel sickness like the last time we went!!<br />
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Thank you for reading my ramblings and for being interested in our life here in Romania! Maybe I'll write again in another 3 or 4 months!!Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-20579354929448074822013-10-18T12:19:00.001-07:002013-10-18T12:19:21.893-07:00Searching for PumpkinsI decided I wanted to have some pumpkins for decorations this year. We are going to have a fall carnival for the girls from the children's home and the kids from church and I wanted some for my photo booth. Driving to Timisoara, there is a village where people sell goods from the gardens by the road side. I stopped and the little old man had 2 white pumpkins. I asked if they had any more and his wife brought out 2 more. He was surprised I wanted so many and then he asked me if I wanted to have pumpkins to last the whole winter. I told him no, they were for decorations. I'm sure he thought I was crazy....using food for decorations. Then I left the van parked there on the side of the road and ran across the street to look at another big pumpkin. The man came out and asked what I wanted and I told him I was looking for a pretty pumpkin. He looked troubled and asked if his 2 pumpkins by the road weren't pretty. I asked him if he had any orange pumpkins (so far I have only found white ones) and again, he looked like he had never before heard of orange pumpkins, but he did invite me to come look in his garden to see if I saw any pretty ones I liked! Well, I had people in the car so I didn't take the time to do that, but I got 4 white pretty pumpkins and I bought some orange spray paint :-).<br />
I went on to do my errands with 4 pumpkins in the back of the van and I went to get the van washed inside and out and thy guy looked at my pumpkins and laughed and said I would have plenty of pies for the winter! I decided not to tell him they were for decorations. I have just kind of gotten used to being known as the crazy American lady. I'll post pictures of the final products...if they turn out nice that is!!Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-91891680101687739062013-10-09T07:45:00.004-07:002013-10-09T07:45:51.866-07:00The Winding ScarfA new etsy account has been set up to sell items I have crocheted. The proceeds will go towards our new multi purpose building. If you are in the market for some pretty scarves, hats, rosettes, or headbands please check out this site: <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWindingScarf">http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWindingScarf</a> you can also ask for other colors, everything I have made is not posted in a picture.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-78847189709138098462013-10-09T07:43:00.001-07:002013-10-09T07:43:21.650-07:00A Descriptive ParagraphMy 13 year old, Spencer, had to write a descriptive paragraph about an important person in his life. Here is what he wrote:<br />
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I have alot of important people in my life and I will describe one of them. My mom is a very important person. She has brown hair, blue eyes, is very sarcastic, and loves to crochet. She smells like perfume when she puts it on. She cooks alot of food and she also cooks my favorite, cookies. She has a nice voice and sings too, but she doesn't sound good when she yells at me. She fells like something nice, I don't know what. My mom is the best mom ever.<br />
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I guess I learned from his descriptive paragraph that I should put on perfume and I shouldn't yell at him :-)!!Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-45171347077027969372013-09-22T00:36:00.000-07:002013-09-22T00:36:09.443-07:00We Have a ProblemThis post is for followers of Christ here in Romania. I know that my blog doesn't have a huge following. Normally, the intent of this blog is for my family and friends to keep up with what is going on in our family but if this post touches just one then it has accomplished something. First, I want to share a verse from Scripture, "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27<br />
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What we have here is a very specific verse as to what God says is "true religion", basically having a heart for the weakest of the weak in this world. Those who can't fend for themselves. Those who have no one to teach them and raise them. I am talking about the abandoned kids, those left by their earthly parents for one reason or another. The future of Romania is at stake. We have 23 million Romanians in Romania and another 23 million that live somewhere outside of Romania. That means, a lot of people are leaving this country to find a better life elsewhere. It also means that the country is full of a generation of kids who are growing up in orphanages, not being trained and loved and taught about simple things such as manners, how to act around other people, how to treat other people, how to function in society, how to become a productive citizen. Oh, a lot of people feel sorry for them and bring them gifts and candy but these gifts and candy do not help these children in the long run. These children are awkward, they are immature, they are needy, they are lost. They don't understand why they can't go home, they don't understand why no one wants them.<br />
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My reason for writing this post is to encourage those of you out there who follow Christ to pray and consider becoming either an adoptive parent or a foster parent. One benefit of being a foster parent is it is a paid job. Now, I think it's important you don't go into it looking at it as only a job, it is very important that a foster parent love the kids they take in and not take in a kid and say, "well, we'll see if this works out, if the child is troublesome I'll just get another one." Let me start by saying, almost all foster kids are troublesome, they have either come from a children's home where they have to be loud and aggressive to get the attention they so desperately want and need or they have bounced around in other foster homes. They need your love and discipline. They need to be taught that it's ok to struggle, it's ok to make mistakes, they need help getting back up again. I just want to encourage all you believers out there, all you who love Christ with all your hearts to consider this, He has a heart for these kids and we (those of us living here in Romania) need to do something about this, the future of Romania is at stake here, these kids are Romania's future. Another good reason for Christians to foster is to see the abandoned kids come to Christ. The goal is for them to see the love of Christ in you and know that their Heavenly Father loves them. Let the Father love these kids through you.<br />
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If becoming a foster parent interests you, please contact us, we'd be willing to do whatever we could to help you in this endeavor. We could have a foster parent support group, counseling for troubled kids, help with homework, and Bible studies. We want to see more of these kids get out of the orphanages and into homes, Christian homes where the love of Christ is lived out.Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-60563112871098439102013-08-22T06:53:00.000-07:002013-08-22T08:51:49.171-07:00Wholly Committed and Saying Yes to God!I am doing an online Bible study with <a href="http://proverbs31.org/">proverbs31.org</a> and the study is about saying yes to God! I have been challenged to be wholly committed to Him in all things. I can get caught up with the every day mundane things in life and get in a comfort zone even way over here in Romania! The really interesting thing is, God is really trying to get my attention in this area because during the first week of the Bible study I was at a missionary conference in Germany and the challenge was on God's grace in our lives and how that because of His grace in my life I should reach out with grace to others...I think God is trying to tell me something!! I am learning that I have to be intentional about sharing God's grace with people. I am challenged in the area of seeing and reaching out to the hurting (I am surrounded and can become calloused to seeing this). It started this past weekend when our daughter broke her arm, instead of panicking like I would normally do, I begin to ask God to help me, to find ways to reach out to others. One way was simply hugging another mom who was crying with her little girl in pain, seems small right? Problem is, I am not a hugger :-)!! It was the middle of the night, there was another sick child and mom sleeping in the room, I really couldn't have a conversation with this mom, but a hug, that is quiet and simple and shows you care. I want to be wholly committed, which for me means, looking around me, being aware of God's grace in my life every moment of every day which makes me out of great love for Him want to reach out to others. His mercies are new for me each day, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, every circumstance, every trial, always!! Because of his mercies to me I can share love with others. It isn't natural for me, I could live in my own little bubble happily taking care of my kids, teaching them ,crocheting, but that is not all God has called me to. He wants me to say yes to Him, be wholly committed which means getting out of that bubble and being aware of what is going on around me not simply running my errands, but running my errands with the intention of seeing who God has for me to minister to. Maybe it's just a smile, maybe it's a word of encouragement, maybe it's money for a train ticket, maybe it's buying someone food, whatever it is if I am just out with the intention of getting my stuff done then I look at the other things as interruptions not a way for me to minister for God. I want to be so near to God that I can't help but see a hurt and ask God if I can help in some way. I want to have His heart, my heart is so dark and empty and cold without Him, but He fills me with light, joy, peace. Because of His light in me I can do these things, I can say yes, I can be wholly committed!<br />
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<a href="http://proverbs31.org/online-bible-studies/category/obs-blog-hop/" target="_blank"><img alt="P31 OBS Blog Hop" border="0" src="http://proverbs31.org/images/OBSBlogHop.png" /></a><br />
<br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-69802971208443900302013-08-13T23:54:00.000-07:002013-08-13T23:54:18.588-07:00#SayWhatThis post is for my online Bible study I am doing over at Proverbs 31. I wanted to tell about several say what moments in my life some more recent then others! My first say what moment was when God asked me and my family to move across the ocean to Romania. The very first time I heard these words I kind of ignored them. They came from my then fiancee and I thought, well maybe we'll go someday but first I'm going to live the American Dream then I'll think about saying yes. Two years later we had been married for a year and my husband had been praying and asking God to help me say yes to the call. In 1997 he took me on a short trip to see Romania and within a few days of being there I had to say yes to the call of God on our lives. I knew living the American Dream could never compare to saying yes to all the exciting things God had for us in Romania. We have been here 12 years now. We came with 2 toddler boys and now we have 6 kids! It has been a learning experience more than anything and has opened my eyes to what it means to say yes to God.<br />
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My next say what moment was when God called us to adopt twins. We already had 4 boys when God led us to adopt. We have permanent residency in Romania so we are an exception to the rule that foreigners can't adopt here. After you live in Romania 5 years you can acquire permanent residency and then be cleared to adopt a Romanian child. We went through the adoption course then God very quickly led us to twins, a boy and girl. They were abandoned at birth by their very poor gypsy mother, who already had 5 children and she just didn't know what to do with two babies! There are so few people to adopt over here that the social workers don't waste there time trying to get parents to sign off their children for adoption, but when the twins were 3 their birth mother died and their birth father was not listed on their birth certificate, so the social worker begin the paper work for their adoption. God very clearly led us to them even though we lived about 5 hours away. We met them just one month before their 4th birthday and immediately decided to adopt them. It was at this point, after they visited in our home that I realized how crazy this was, our youngest son was not quite 2 and here we are getting ready to wedge 2 more children into this family! It would make 6 kids ages 2 to 9! I started to panic and I spoke with a friend who told me, you already knew it was going to be crazy, it's just becoming a reality now, you know God wants you to do this so do it! We moved forward and on their 5th birthday we were granted custody of them. The year long wait is another crazy story for another time but God worked and we were able to finally bring them home. We have had some pretty chaotic moments through it all but we thank God that we can live out the Bible by caring for the orphans. They are no longer orphans but are part of the Howerton family!<br />
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I'm so thankful that my sister introduced me to this online Bible study. I will definitely be doing more of them in the future.<br />
<a href="http://proverbs31.org/online-bible-studies/category/obs-blog-hop/" target="_blank"><img alt="P31 OBS Blog Hop" border="0" src="http://proverbs31.org/images/OBSBlogHop.png" /></a> Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4532956252712824320.post-51787373046998518652013-08-13T07:12:00.002-07:002013-08-13T07:12:25.903-07:00English CampWe had an awesome week in July with a group from North Hills Community Church in Greenville, S.C. Ten of them came and we held an English camp at School number 6 for first to eighth graders. We had about 115 kids come. The day before they left to come to Romania we called them with the news that the number of kids had jumped from 60 to over 100! They spent the last day printing and putting together more books for the camp! It was a great week and the kids really loved it and we were glad to meet more people in our community and be able to reach out in this way.<br />
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We ended the week with a fun trip to Hunedoara and there we visited an awesome castle. Our kids again really enjoyed the team, they always love it when Americans come to visit us!<br /><br />Joyce Howertonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122119496200433902noreply@blogger.com0